This maybe my past post for a while.
Hubby deploys soon and will take his laptop with him. In the rush to get his PMP done and the house unpacked, I haven't had opportunity to look at the other computers. The Dell (which was working up until the moment when it was packed) may have an issue with the onboard video card (bleh!) and the other computer needs to have the OS re-installed (hate the blue screen of death). So while I will have internet access at the house, I won't have anything to access it with.
With that out of the way, I will have access to the internet at the library (once school starts back, may ask my neighbour to use hers) and may end up going there daily or every other day.
I wish everyone the best for the New Year's.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Bad headspace.
It is hard to be a cheerful and chipper person when you have to interact with certain people.
Right now I'm more than a little annoyed and I wish I knew why, I know better, I don't expect anything different and yet I'm still annoyed.
I asked the husband to do one little thing, set up the tv and dvd in the bedroom so that I can watch tv or a dvd while I unpack the bedroom. Well I guess I should have been more specific as he did set it up but none of it worked. I got such a look (now if I could do this on my own I would have done so and not bothered to ask him) and back upstairs he went. Apparently tv1 doesn't have the necessary bits to plug dvd1 into, so he had to switch tvs. Now instead of hooking tv2 (which doesn't have a remote) into dvd1 (I have the remote for this one) , he hooks it into dvd2 (which does have a remote, but he couldn't be bothered to look for it). I get back to the bedroom, it all apparently works but neither the tv nor the dvd player has a remote. Instead of being thoughtful and bringing up one of those all-in-one remotes of which we have plenty (I have no idea where anything is in the basement, that's his area and has it organized his own way) he just gives me a look of disgust which says that nothing he does is ever good enough and stomps back downstairs. Does he come back upstairs, no. He just has a foul attitude and didn't even come to bed.
That was last night. Has he spoken to me today? Yes, to ask two questions. If I needed anything while he went out, and later on if I knew where his cap was. Otherwise he hasn't said one word to me. I dislike dealing with people who want to act childish, so I spent a good bit of this morning catching up with my book and letting him have quality time with his daughter as he'll be deploying soon and I think they could use all of the QT they can get. Boy I shouldn't have bothered. Now he makes me out to bed the one with the attitude and the only thing she has said to me today is that I *have* to cook tonight because there are no leftovers. Why do I feel like a f**king maid and housekeeper. I'm getting sick and tired of this BS.
First the girl-child gets upset the other day and says I spend all day on the computer (converting his F'ing mp3s in the hopes they'll be done before he deploys as he's taking the laptop with him) and then when I'm not doing that I'm cooking. It drives me up the wall that she expects that whenever she is home that I should devote every waking hour to her. That I should cater to her every whim just because she's awake.
I suppose all in all it wouldn't bother me with the exception that the few things I have selfishly bought for myself, she's decided that she could play with them as if they were hers and feels no remorse for destroying said items. She just lies about it, shrugs her shoulders and does it again. There are times when I wish I could lock things away, however why should I have to do that when she's old enough to learn to leave other people's things alone.
I am so not in a good headspace right now. I'm going to head out and watch tv in the bedroom (that I had to dick around with so at least one works with a remote). Maybe after he's deployed I'll locate one of the all-in-one remotes so I'll have a remote to work with the tv.
Right now I'm more than a little annoyed and I wish I knew why, I know better, I don't expect anything different and yet I'm still annoyed.
I asked the husband to do one little thing, set up the tv and dvd in the bedroom so that I can watch tv or a dvd while I unpack the bedroom. Well I guess I should have been more specific as he did set it up but none of it worked. I got such a look (now if I could do this on my own I would have done so and not bothered to ask him) and back upstairs he went. Apparently tv1 doesn't have the necessary bits to plug dvd1 into, so he had to switch tvs. Now instead of hooking tv2 (which doesn't have a remote) into dvd1 (I have the remote for this one) , he hooks it into dvd2 (which does have a remote, but he couldn't be bothered to look for it). I get back to the bedroom, it all apparently works but neither the tv nor the dvd player has a remote. Instead of being thoughtful and bringing up one of those all-in-one remotes of which we have plenty (I have no idea where anything is in the basement, that's his area and has it organized his own way) he just gives me a look of disgust which says that nothing he does is ever good enough and stomps back downstairs. Does he come back upstairs, no. He just has a foul attitude and didn't even come to bed.
That was last night. Has he spoken to me today? Yes, to ask two questions. If I needed anything while he went out, and later on if I knew where his cap was. Otherwise he hasn't said one word to me. I dislike dealing with people who want to act childish, so I spent a good bit of this morning catching up with my book and letting him have quality time with his daughter as he'll be deploying soon and I think they could use all of the QT they can get. Boy I shouldn't have bothered. Now he makes me out to bed the one with the attitude and the only thing she has said to me today is that I *have* to cook tonight because there are no leftovers. Why do I feel like a f**king maid and housekeeper. I'm getting sick and tired of this BS.
First the girl-child gets upset the other day and says I spend all day on the computer (converting his F'ing mp3s in the hopes they'll be done before he deploys as he's taking the laptop with him) and then when I'm not doing that I'm cooking. It drives me up the wall that she expects that whenever she is home that I should devote every waking hour to her. That I should cater to her every whim just because she's awake.
I suppose all in all it wouldn't bother me with the exception that the few things I have selfishly bought for myself, she's decided that she could play with them as if they were hers and feels no remorse for destroying said items. She just lies about it, shrugs her shoulders and does it again. There are times when I wish I could lock things away, however why should I have to do that when she's old enough to learn to leave other people's things alone.
I am so not in a good headspace right now. I'm going to head out and watch tv in the bedroom (that I had to dick around with so at least one works with a remote). Maybe after he's deployed I'll locate one of the all-in-one remotes so I'll have a remote to work with the tv.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Can I be anymore tired?
There have been times when I wonder if there are different levels of tiredness or if there is any way to measure tiredness. The last thought I have before succuming to sleep is that I hope tomorrow will be different. I wake up with a lot of energy which seems to fizzle around 5pm. Why oh why?
I have no idea where most of today went, we got a lot done, but it didn't feel like it took as long as it did.
It is only 6:37pm here and if I didn' t know any better I'd think it was 10pm at night. The only bad thing about it being not quite 7pm is that I have the bedroom to organize now. Yesterday the people finally came for the extra furniture that was in the bedroom so now we can actually sleep in the bedroom (at least after I get it all organized and off my bed). Maybe I'll grab a nap and get my second wind.
While we were out today I had to figure out what to get the girl-child from my parents. Whenever we're not home to celebrate my parents always send money so that we can buy ourselves something. The nice thing about that is that my mother always says that we don't have to portion it out equally in thirds, she'll leave that to me. I was thinking on the way to Vilseck that I should buy the girl-child the C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series since the movie is out and I know she'd enjoy the book/s. What was I thinking? When Peter Jackson did the Lord of the Rings series, they rereleased all of the books where you couldn't turn around without seeing one. With that in mind, I figured they'd do the same with Narnia, well they may have but could I find *one* book? Nope. So I had to get the girl-child other books instead. I can't remember off the top of my head when I ended up getting her, I just hope she'll like them. There's only 4+ days until Christmas and I can't wait. It's not the opening of the presents but I haven't been able to find my tape etc to wrap these presents and what I'm really tired of is the girl-child trying to peek.
Oh well, I'm going to nap (I just hope it's a nap and not my going to sleep for the night) and hopefully find some more energy when I wake back up.
I have no idea where most of today went, we got a lot done, but it didn't feel like it took as long as it did.
It is only 6:37pm here and if I didn' t know any better I'd think it was 10pm at night. The only bad thing about it being not quite 7pm is that I have the bedroom to organize now. Yesterday the people finally came for the extra furniture that was in the bedroom so now we can actually sleep in the bedroom (at least after I get it all organized and off my bed). Maybe I'll grab a nap and get my second wind.
While we were out today I had to figure out what to get the girl-child from my parents. Whenever we're not home to celebrate my parents always send money so that we can buy ourselves something. The nice thing about that is that my mother always says that we don't have to portion it out equally in thirds, she'll leave that to me. I was thinking on the way to Vilseck that I should buy the girl-child the C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series since the movie is out and I know she'd enjoy the book/s. What was I thinking? When Peter Jackson did the Lord of the Rings series, they rereleased all of the books where you couldn't turn around without seeing one. With that in mind, I figured they'd do the same with Narnia, well they may have but could I find *one* book? Nope. So I had to get the girl-child other books instead. I can't remember off the top of my head when I ended up getting her, I just hope she'll like them. There's only 4+ days until Christmas and I can't wait. It's not the opening of the presents but I haven't been able to find my tape etc to wrap these presents and what I'm really tired of is the girl-child trying to peek.
Oh well, I'm going to nap (I just hope it's a nap and not my going to sleep for the night) and hopefully find some more energy when I wake back up.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Finally, some of these stinkin things are done...
Even though I'm tired as I write this, I am pleased with myself that I managed to stratch everything from my to-do list for today besides going to the German Post office. I drove right by it, couldn't find any parking and then noticed that I was running late to get home before the girl-child, so off I went. Of course the freezing rain and the wind didn't help matters any.
So I talked to the hubby this morning about Christmas dinner. He does agree with me that it's too much to cook for the 3 of us. Before you start to wonder what I'm talking about, I'll explain. I'm an only child and Christmas for me was more about having a good time with family and friends than presents. Up until the age of 20, my Christmas dinners were spent with my parents and family friends. After 20 our Christmas dinner changed to what they are now. Christmas dinner which normally was at a particular cousin's house, now rotates from one house to the next. Everyone brings a couple of dishes and we all sit around and have a good time. It is common to have quite a number of people over for Christmas who aren't relatives and to be honest, we quite enjoy having people around. With that being said, there is always so much food, that you can't say you can't find anything to eat. The theory behind our Christmas dinners seem to be that if you like a particular dish, it'll be there for dinner. The first year my husband had dinner with my family he thought he'd stepped out of the wrong door and entered a feast worthy of some small royal family.
Needless to say, with being brought up like that, I tend to make Christmas dinners the same way. The last time I cooked Christmas dinner, I made stove top stuffing (cuz hubby likes it), cornbread dressing (cuz I like it), giblet gravy (hubby), turkey gravy (moi), succotash (hubby), green bean casserole (everyone), corn, cobb salad, ham, turkey, candied yams (moi), rice n beans (everyone), cranberry sauce, rolls and I can't remember what else.
As I was saying before, he agreed that it's too much to do for 3 people and that we should just enjoy the Christmas day so we'll go to the dining facility for dinner. Then on boxing day (day after Christmas) I'll cook the turkey etc, that way we will have leftovers and can chomp on those for a while.
I have a small pet peeve I'd like to share. What starts off as a little issue soon tends to keep doubling in size until I can't keep it in anymore. It drives me nuts when someone invites you somewhere and says that you can ride with them. They give you the time that they are leaving and that's that. When the day comes around, they actually leave before they said they will so you have to find alternate transport there, of course there is no knock on the door or message left saying that there was a change of plans. Okay I was a little tweaked about it, but okay. That same night we (girl-child and I) were invited to an event they were having out of town this weekend. They know that we have no idea how to get there but we do have transport so that is not an issue. They mentioned something about us following them up and guess what, they've done it again. Although the event isn't until tomorrow, they've already left town without a word. So once again I'm a little tweaked but I'm thinking that this will allow me to get the house cleared and cleaned once and for all. The girl-child is on winter break as of Monday so it's going to be getting everything done.
Hubby was so sweet yesterday. He bought me a poinsettia home, I thought that was so thoughtful. He knows how much I love plants and it's a little one so it doesn't take up too much space.
So I talked to the hubby this morning about Christmas dinner. He does agree with me that it's too much to cook for the 3 of us. Before you start to wonder what I'm talking about, I'll explain. I'm an only child and Christmas for me was more about having a good time with family and friends than presents. Up until the age of 20, my Christmas dinners were spent with my parents and family friends. After 20 our Christmas dinner changed to what they are now. Christmas dinner which normally was at a particular cousin's house, now rotates from one house to the next. Everyone brings a couple of dishes and we all sit around and have a good time. It is common to have quite a number of people over for Christmas who aren't relatives and to be honest, we quite enjoy having people around. With that being said, there is always so much food, that you can't say you can't find anything to eat. The theory behind our Christmas dinners seem to be that if you like a particular dish, it'll be there for dinner. The first year my husband had dinner with my family he thought he'd stepped out of the wrong door and entered a feast worthy of some small royal family.
Needless to say, with being brought up like that, I tend to make Christmas dinners the same way. The last time I cooked Christmas dinner, I made stove top stuffing (cuz hubby likes it), cornbread dressing (cuz I like it), giblet gravy (hubby), turkey gravy (moi), succotash (hubby), green bean casserole (everyone), corn, cobb salad, ham, turkey, candied yams (moi), rice n beans (everyone), cranberry sauce, rolls and I can't remember what else.
As I was saying before, he agreed that it's too much to do for 3 people and that we should just enjoy the Christmas day so we'll go to the dining facility for dinner. Then on boxing day (day after Christmas) I'll cook the turkey etc, that way we will have leftovers and can chomp on those for a while.
I have a small pet peeve I'd like to share. What starts off as a little issue soon tends to keep doubling in size until I can't keep it in anymore. It drives me nuts when someone invites you somewhere and says that you can ride with them. They give you the time that they are leaving and that's that. When the day comes around, they actually leave before they said they will so you have to find alternate transport there, of course there is no knock on the door or message left saying that there was a change of plans. Okay I was a little tweaked about it, but okay. That same night we (girl-child and I) were invited to an event they were having out of town this weekend. They know that we have no idea how to get there but we do have transport so that is not an issue. They mentioned something about us following them up and guess what, they've done it again. Although the event isn't until tomorrow, they've already left town without a word. So once again I'm a little tweaked but I'm thinking that this will allow me to get the house cleared and cleaned once and for all. The girl-child is on winter break as of Monday so it's going to be getting everything done.
Hubby was so sweet yesterday. He bought me a poinsettia home, I thought that was so thoughtful. He knows how much I love plants and it's a little one so it doesn't take up too much space.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
The days have flown by.
I just realised that the last time I posted was on Tuesday. The last couple of days have flown by and yet I can barely remember them. this is neither good nor bad, just factual.
Last night I had such grand plans in my head for today. I knew what I was going to do and where I was going and went to bed with a smile on my face ready to face the next day. My husband calls it my deranged moment, all I know is that I found myself wide awake after having sat straight up in bed for what at the time felt like no reason. This sudden movement woke him up and startled him. I figured that it must be some sort of internal mechanism telling me to heed mother nature's call. In hindsight I must say I was lucky. Between the bed and the bathroom there is a flight of stairs and as I was out of it, I almost felt down the flight of stairs. Minutes later I found myself back in bed and drifting off to sleep, however I felt so tired this morning it was unbelievable. Someone could have told me that I ran a marathon and I would have believed them. There must have been something in the air as the husband and girl-child were just as exhausted as I was. Go figure.
The two hours I was up this morning was long enough to wake the girl-child up, make sure she had a bath (we were out late last night so she didn't get to have one before she went to bed), fixed her breakfast and lunch and make sure she got off to catch the bus on time. Shortly after I had fallen back asleep my husband calls. I am sure he feels (although he doesn't say anything) that I sleep off and on all day (I wish) so when I happened to mention during the short conversation that he woke me up, he didn't sound the least bit surprised. His phone call was to tell me that he'd be coming home soon (which ended up being 2 hours later). By now I figured the day was shot, all of my grand plans just fizzled out like some cheap champagne.
The upside to this day is that hubby thought he'd forgotten some paperwork at the office. Due to the time we had to wait for the girl-child to come home before we could head out. Since I didn't have anything concrete planned for dinner, he decided that we should have fish, fries and whatever other sides we could find. While at the commissary we won what looks like a 25lb turkey. I was quite pleased but now I feel like I have to cook Christmas dinner. Must find out what he wants to do and what our neighbours are doing. That is certainly a lot of turkey for 3 people and even though I normally freeze quite a bit of it afterwards, we could have turkey for months to come.
The tired monster has captured me again. I'm not quite sure what is going on. My eating habits won't indicate that I'm deficient in anything so maybe it's the lack of exercise that is doing me in. Hubby suggested today that I may feel a lot better and have more energy if I start working out again. His response to my saying that I was going to wait until the new year was to wonder if it was going to be my new year's resolution. That wasn't the reason at all. This friday is the start of the school's winter break and I can't in good conscience start working out when I should be spending time with the girl-child. Not to mention that hubby is taking some leave so we can go on a couple of trips before he heads to the sandbox. Plus, I'm not one for New Year's resolutions as they never work out, so I don't do them.
Off to do some more work on his music file conversion. Yay! (not!)
Last night I had such grand plans in my head for today. I knew what I was going to do and where I was going and went to bed with a smile on my face ready to face the next day. My husband calls it my deranged moment, all I know is that I found myself wide awake after having sat straight up in bed for what at the time felt like no reason. This sudden movement woke him up and startled him. I figured that it must be some sort of internal mechanism telling me to heed mother nature's call. In hindsight I must say I was lucky. Between the bed and the bathroom there is a flight of stairs and as I was out of it, I almost felt down the flight of stairs. Minutes later I found myself back in bed and drifting off to sleep, however I felt so tired this morning it was unbelievable. Someone could have told me that I ran a marathon and I would have believed them. There must have been something in the air as the husband and girl-child were just as exhausted as I was. Go figure.
The two hours I was up this morning was long enough to wake the girl-child up, make sure she had a bath (we were out late last night so she didn't get to have one before she went to bed), fixed her breakfast and lunch and make sure she got off to catch the bus on time. Shortly after I had fallen back asleep my husband calls. I am sure he feels (although he doesn't say anything) that I sleep off and on all day (I wish) so when I happened to mention during the short conversation that he woke me up, he didn't sound the least bit surprised. His phone call was to tell me that he'd be coming home soon (which ended up being 2 hours later). By now I figured the day was shot, all of my grand plans just fizzled out like some cheap champagne.
The upside to this day is that hubby thought he'd forgotten some paperwork at the office. Due to the time we had to wait for the girl-child to come home before we could head out. Since I didn't have anything concrete planned for dinner, he decided that we should have fish, fries and whatever other sides we could find. While at the commissary we won what looks like a 25lb turkey. I was quite pleased but now I feel like I have to cook Christmas dinner. Must find out what he wants to do and what our neighbours are doing. That is certainly a lot of turkey for 3 people and even though I normally freeze quite a bit of it afterwards, we could have turkey for months to come.
The tired monster has captured me again. I'm not quite sure what is going on. My eating habits won't indicate that I'm deficient in anything so maybe it's the lack of exercise that is doing me in. Hubby suggested today that I may feel a lot better and have more energy if I start working out again. His response to my saying that I was going to wait until the new year was to wonder if it was going to be my new year's resolution. That wasn't the reason at all. This friday is the start of the school's winter break and I can't in good conscience start working out when I should be spending time with the girl-child. Not to mention that hubby is taking some leave so we can go on a couple of trips before he heads to the sandbox. Plus, I'm not one for New Year's resolutions as they never work out, so I don't do them.
Off to do some more work on his music file conversion. Yay! (not!)
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
A lovely Quiet Day
While I didn't accomplish anything on my list today, it was lovely and quiet.
I spent practically all day converting Mpeg-4 files to Mp3 files for Robert. Not only does he have quite a number of these to do, but the software using to convert them doesn't retain any of the pertinent information. Needless to say, after 10 hours I'm still at the letter C.
After the last several days I've had, it was quite a pleasure to have an easy going day.
As I said before all of my Christmas presents have been bought. I got the hubby a couple of CDs, DVDs and books (just to open on Christmas morning. He's been playing with his PMP since he got it) and got the girl-child a DVD since hubby already got her presents. My dad's christmas present even came in yesterday and I guess I need to go head to the post office to mail that. Unfortunately it won't get there in time for Christmas, but he'll still appreciate it anyway.
For once, not a lot to say. I may have to drive around tomorrow. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it, but I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Hubby mentioned taking leave before he heads to the sandbox and wants to know where we're going. I haven't made any reservations or anything like that but I mentioned Italy and Czech Republic. Not sure that we'll do Italy but since Praha (Prague) is close by, we may end up going there. I'm very excited. A penpal (who I have met) lives there and he promised to show us around if we made it out that way. I can't wait. I've heard such good things about Praha.
With all of that excitement I've just tired myself out. So I think I'm going to turn in early. These early mornings are wearing me out. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.
I spent practically all day converting Mpeg-4 files to Mp3 files for Robert. Not only does he have quite a number of these to do, but the software using to convert them doesn't retain any of the pertinent information. Needless to say, after 10 hours I'm still at the letter C.
After the last several days I've had, it was quite a pleasure to have an easy going day.
As I said before all of my Christmas presents have been bought. I got the hubby a couple of CDs, DVDs and books (just to open on Christmas morning. He's been playing with his PMP since he got it) and got the girl-child a DVD since hubby already got her presents. My dad's christmas present even came in yesterday and I guess I need to go head to the post office to mail that. Unfortunately it won't get there in time for Christmas, but he'll still appreciate it anyway.
For once, not a lot to say. I may have to drive around tomorrow. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it, but I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Hubby mentioned taking leave before he heads to the sandbox and wants to know where we're going. I haven't made any reservations or anything like that but I mentioned Italy and Czech Republic. Not sure that we'll do Italy but since Praha (Prague) is close by, we may end up going there. I'm very excited. A penpal (who I have met) lives there and he promised to show us around if we made it out that way. I can't wait. I've heard such good things about Praha.
With all of that excitement I've just tired myself out. So I think I'm going to turn in early. These early mornings are wearing me out. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Tiredness seems to be a new way of life.
The weekend great considering a few rough spots.
Friday night my neighbour took me shopping with her to this grocery store that has a lot more selection what we can find around here. I only went with the intention of getting stuff to make lasagna (per the hubby's request) and ended up buying all sorts of German and Polish sausages among other things. It is a good thing I had plenty of money with me.
Saturday the girl-child and I walked about 3/4 of a mile to the grocery store nearby to see what they have. Although we've been there before, I was told that they have much better prices than the store right across from me (can believe that as things there seem a bit pricey) so we had to go look. Yeah ended up spending what money I didn't spend on Friday night, but that was okay.
Sunday I got up early (4am) to start cooking for the evening event. We were going to drive to Vilseck which is about a 45 minute drive and I didn't want to have to rush when we got back. Gave considerable thought to not going as the morning didn't start off well. However I remembered that I had started a new leaf so off I went. It is just as well. I ended up buying hubby's presents (these are little things that go underneath the tree) and even got something for the girl-child.
From there we rushed back so that I could finish making the fresh vegetable pizza (I had started the crust earlier) and made a large cobb salad. Then off we dashed to the Christmas Party. The girl-child had a good time, I was so tired that all I could do was eat and try not to pass out. We headed home shortly after Santa arrived and handed out the presents.
Today was something else. I had to be at the drivers testing area before 8. The Germans are very prompt and if something is supposed to start at 8 and you're not in the room, they lock the door. So of course I made sure I was there. I figured we'd have a 2 hour ordeal that I'd have to sit through, instead we sat through a 20 minute video and then I headed to library to try and absorb more information. Hubby surprised me at the library as I was sitting down with some magazines and was about to tune the world out for the next two hours. So instead of sitting there for hours, we had lunch together.
The drivers test was at 1pm and I did alright. I missed more than I was hoping to, but sometimes it helps if you're paying attention. The darned vision test (erm, I think I need my prescription updated) was almost harder than the darned drivers test. Anyway I have my temporary license while I await the regular one in the mail, so I guess I won't be chauffered anymore, nuts!
Friday night my neighbour took me shopping with her to this grocery store that has a lot more selection what we can find around here. I only went with the intention of getting stuff to make lasagna (per the hubby's request) and ended up buying all sorts of German and Polish sausages among other things. It is a good thing I had plenty of money with me.
Saturday the girl-child and I walked about 3/4 of a mile to the grocery store nearby to see what they have. Although we've been there before, I was told that they have much better prices than the store right across from me (can believe that as things there seem a bit pricey) so we had to go look. Yeah ended up spending what money I didn't spend on Friday night, but that was okay.
Sunday I got up early (4am) to start cooking for the evening event. We were going to drive to Vilseck which is about a 45 minute drive and I didn't want to have to rush when we got back. Gave considerable thought to not going as the morning didn't start off well. However I remembered that I had started a new leaf so off I went. It is just as well. I ended up buying hubby's presents (these are little things that go underneath the tree) and even got something for the girl-child.
From there we rushed back so that I could finish making the fresh vegetable pizza (I had started the crust earlier) and made a large cobb salad. Then off we dashed to the Christmas Party. The girl-child had a good time, I was so tired that all I could do was eat and try not to pass out. We headed home shortly after Santa arrived and handed out the presents.
Today was something else. I had to be at the drivers testing area before 8. The Germans are very prompt and if something is supposed to start at 8 and you're not in the room, they lock the door. So of course I made sure I was there. I figured we'd have a 2 hour ordeal that I'd have to sit through, instead we sat through a 20 minute video and then I headed to library to try and absorb more information. Hubby surprised me at the library as I was sitting down with some magazines and was about to tune the world out for the next two hours. So instead of sitting there for hours, we had lunch together.
The drivers test was at 1pm and I did alright. I missed more than I was hoping to, but sometimes it helps if you're paying attention. The darned vision test (erm, I think I need my prescription updated) was almost harder than the darned drivers test. Anyway I have my temporary license while I await the regular one in the mail, so I guess I won't be chauffered anymore, nuts!
Friday, December 09, 2005
A New Start
After getting that all out of my system the last post, I've decided to start over. That was the beginning of the process, just getting it out there. I spoke to my girlfriend Toni this morning. I won't go into her health details, but needless to say she recently had radiation treatment and is back doing chemo treatment now. The lady she had most of her chemo and radiation treatment has died. It wasn't due to the cancer but between her negative attitude and always dwelling on the bad, the common concensus is that upon hearing some distressing news, she gave up. See the power of negativity. What really cemented it for me was an editorial piece I read this morning about there being two kinds of people in this world; The doers and the talkers. The optimist and pessimist. The advocate and the whiner.
In the process of looking for myself I'm going to attempt to not be the whiner and the pessimist but look for the silver lining for every cloud.
So the silver linings for today:
I am IMing my buddy Dan in PA
I've cleared off the dining table (finally)
The boxes that were blocking the entrance to the kitchen have been emptied and put away.
On to do more stuff...
In the process of looking for myself I'm going to attempt to not be the whiner and the pessimist but look for the silver lining for every cloud.
So the silver linings for today:
I am IMing my buddy Dan in PA
I've cleared off the dining table (finally)
The boxes that were blocking the entrance to the kitchen have been emptied and put away.
On to do more stuff...
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
How did this happen?
When I originally started this blog, it wasn't intended to be a place to bitch and moan. Certainly not to bitch about the girl-child, anything political, religious or otherwise. The idea was for me to put to paper (virtual in this case) my more creative side. Despite the last several (practically all) posts, I do have a creative side and a wild imagination.
I guess the stresses in dealing with people (drama where I just moved from that is still continuing and seemingly getting worst, not better and the drama surrounding where I now live not to mention the girl-child), the move, the unpacking... have stifled my creative juices. I'm wound tighter than a ball of yarn and I feel the tension in my body everytime I move.
While I know this funk that I'm in won't last forever, it bothers me that it's been allowed to go on for so long. I used to be quite carefree and let things roll off my back, but I seemed to have fallen off that cobblestone paved road and have been walking in the ditch beside it. Now if I could only find a narrow path back to the road I'd be a lot happier. There is no telling how long I've been walking in the ditch but I didn't realise it until a gal-pal of mine pointed it out (like 4 years ago). Sad eh?
I'm hoping that when my house is all unpacked, put away, sorted, cleaned etc, that I will be able to find some me time during the day (helps that I'm not working) to tap back into my creative side.
This may sound weird to some of you (it is okay, I'm weird, I can admit it, I embrace it) but I feel cut off from myself because of the funk. I've always had dreams. Some of those come true (it's almost like watching a movie before it comes out) while others don't. I've always felt that the ones that don't come true are more of a warning than something that is absolute. Of course there are those dreams that stem from my creative side and believe me, I know which ones those are (like watching a weird SF/F movie). I used to be able to "feel" things, subtle things. One fateful night this summer was the first time in a long time I was able to "feel" anything. What I felt wasn't good, or evil, but just a wall of negative energy almost black hole sucking the life and energy out of you. It wasn't very subtle either. That was a big wakeup call for me that this funk I've been in has affected me more than I imagined. In the past I would have been able to detect the slightest traces of negative energy but this time it was almost like it I was standing in between two converging walls, with the life being squeezed out of me.
So there ends my weirdness for today, well at least online. I guess once the house is in decent shape, I will have to get back into meditation and breathing exercises and see if I can't make myself whole again.
I guess the stresses in dealing with people (drama where I just moved from that is still continuing and seemingly getting worst, not better and the drama surrounding where I now live not to mention the girl-child), the move, the unpacking... have stifled my creative juices. I'm wound tighter than a ball of yarn and I feel the tension in my body everytime I move.
While I know this funk that I'm in won't last forever, it bothers me that it's been allowed to go on for so long. I used to be quite carefree and let things roll off my back, but I seemed to have fallen off that cobblestone paved road and have been walking in the ditch beside it. Now if I could only find a narrow path back to the road I'd be a lot happier. There is no telling how long I've been walking in the ditch but I didn't realise it until a gal-pal of mine pointed it out (like 4 years ago). Sad eh?
I'm hoping that when my house is all unpacked, put away, sorted, cleaned etc, that I will be able to find some me time during the day (helps that I'm not working) to tap back into my creative side.
This may sound weird to some of you (it is okay, I'm weird, I can admit it, I embrace it) but I feel cut off from myself because of the funk. I've always had dreams. Some of those come true (it's almost like watching a movie before it comes out) while others don't. I've always felt that the ones that don't come true are more of a warning than something that is absolute. Of course there are those dreams that stem from my creative side and believe me, I know which ones those are (like watching a weird SF/F movie). I used to be able to "feel" things, subtle things. One fateful night this summer was the first time in a long time I was able to "feel" anything. What I felt wasn't good, or evil, but just a wall of negative energy almost black hole sucking the life and energy out of you. It wasn't very subtle either. That was a big wakeup call for me that this funk I've been in has affected me more than I imagined. In the past I would have been able to detect the slightest traces of negative energy but this time it was almost like it I was standing in between two converging walls, with the life being squeezed out of me.
So there ends my weirdness for today, well at least online. I guess once the house is in decent shape, I will have to get back into meditation and breathing exercises and see if I can't make myself whole again.
Is this day over yet?
It is only 9:15 and here I am wishing today was over already.
Won't go into details because frankly I don't want to think about it, but lets just say that the homework didn't get completed and this morning seems to be a continuation of last night.
At least she's off at school and I will have some piece of mind for a couple of hours.
I'm going to go talk to my neighbour and hope the day gets better.
Won't go into details because frankly I don't want to think about it, but lets just say that the homework didn't get completed and this morning seems to be a continuation of last night.
At least she's off at school and I will have some piece of mind for a couple of hours.
I'm going to go talk to my neighbour and hope the day gets better.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Oh the joys of tantrums
Whenever girl-child's teacher assigns her word searches as homework I have to brace myself. Invariably the first 2 or 3 hours is nothing but one long tantrum. I think I've heard everything from how hard it is, to the words not being there, that she hates school, hates it here and the list seems endless.
Incase I have forgotten to mention, I'm the evil/mean step-mother. Being that I don't have any children of my own (and an only child to boot) I don't have a lick of patience. So right about hour 2 I've had it. She hates being shouted at, but boy does she get it, then I just shut down and don't say a word to her.
What makes it worst is that she knows she can't have dinner until her homework is done (reference evil/mean above) otherwise it would never be completed. Of course like everything else, there are exceptions to the rule. There have been times when she's gotten so much homework that even working diligently she wouldn't be able to complete it before dinner, then she can eat. Anyway that isn't the case today and I refuse to feel sorry for someone who throws their pencil around, throws their homework around and then figures that they'll get to eat when they've made no real effort to do their homework.
I am seriously hoping the rest of the night gets better as she has already been sent to bed once and she knows when that happens, I'm certainly not kidding. Because she asked pseudo nicely I told her that if she could her word search without another temper tantrum that was fine, otherwise it would be bed for her.
She is supposed to have a 2 hour delay of school tomorrow which meant that she was going to be able to sleep in, that will go out of the window (the sleep in, not the attending of school) if she hasn't completed her word search.
On a brighter note, we only have 9 more years of this! heheheheheh. Where's a drink when you need one!
Incase I have forgotten to mention, I'm the evil/mean step-mother. Being that I don't have any children of my own (and an only child to boot) I don't have a lick of patience. So right about hour 2 I've had it. She hates being shouted at, but boy does she get it, then I just shut down and don't say a word to her.
What makes it worst is that she knows she can't have dinner until her homework is done (reference evil/mean above) otherwise it would never be completed. Of course like everything else, there are exceptions to the rule. There have been times when she's gotten so much homework that even working diligently she wouldn't be able to complete it before dinner, then she can eat. Anyway that isn't the case today and I refuse to feel sorry for someone who throws their pencil around, throws their homework around and then figures that they'll get to eat when they've made no real effort to do their homework.
I am seriously hoping the rest of the night gets better as she has already been sent to bed once and she knows when that happens, I'm certainly not kidding. Because she asked pseudo nicely I told her that if she could her word search without another temper tantrum that was fine, otherwise it would be bed for her.
She is supposed to have a 2 hour delay of school tomorrow which meant that she was going to be able to sleep in, that will go out of the window (the sleep in, not the attending of school) if she hasn't completed her word search.
On a brighter note, we only have 9 more years of this! heheheheheh. Where's a drink when you need one!
Monday, December 05, 2005
Grounding, Noise and odd conversations
There are times as a step-parent when I have to wonder about the wisdom of grounding. Whether it works, whether it is worth it, whether there are better ways to achieve the same goal.
Several days ago I mentioned about the girl-child's issue with markers, crayons and paints. Well, at 9 years old, she still feels she can do whatever she wants and consequences be damned. That thought lasts as long as it takes for her to be discovered and punished. She will unhappily relate that she never gets away with anything, for some reason she always gets discovered. I have no idea why she continues to do things she knows she's not supposed to.
Anyway, this morning her school was delayed due to the weather and road conditions. I had gone upstairs to let her know this and to my dismay discovered that she had been carving into her headboard. The bed frame/headboard etc in question is over 10 years old and is (was) very nice mahogany wood (along with the other furniture in her room). When polished, you can almost see your reflection in the wood.
Being the inquisitive sort, I cannot help but ask why she carved her name into the headboard. Her standard response to any question is "I don't know" and after 3 years of hearing this, it just makes one frustrated and upset. There are moments I feel like a policeman in an interrogation room as I have to keep repeating the question over and over. The final response was "I was grounded and wanted to take it out on something". Needless to say I had a few choice words for her and pointed out that while she may be sleeping on the bed and using all of the other furniture, they are by no means hers.
I guess I should look on the bright side. Last year this time she was banging her head repeatedly on the brick wall, so this is definately an improvement. Thankfully where we were at had child therapists and counsellors as she ended up going there. I don't think we'll be as lucky here.
As I sit here quite annoyed with the girl child I am hearing noise. Now to give you a little bit of a background, I live in a townhouse (4-plex) that has 4 storeys. Unit 1 and Unit 2 are mirror imaged and Unit 3 (which I live in, is identical to Unit 1) and Unit 4 are mirror imaged. What that means is that the darn stairs are against the same walls. Anyway, before I digress any further, my neighbours in Unit 4 sound like a herd of elephants as you can hear someone/s tromping up and down the stairs. This has been going on for the last couple of days and I can't figure out what they are doing and why they have to go up and down the stairs as much as they do.
I mentioned at the end of my last post (I believe) about certain conversations that the girl-child and I were having. Thankfully she's already had the "sex" talk and we haven't quite progressed to the "what happens when you start hitting puberty". More background information... I was christened Roman Catholic (never been confirmed as there wasn't a Catholic Church where I grew up) however attended Baptist church as a child and the girl-child has been raised Pentacostal (I believe) thus far. While I feel that children should be exposed to religion (as many as the parents feel comfortable with) I also feel that there comes a time when they can choose whether or not they want to continue attending church. There were a couple of incidents that made me disillusioned with the church and organized religion in general which is why I don't attend. The girl-child the other night was asking me the differences between the Catholic faith and the baptists. That conversation went on for the better part of an hour, which was pretty good. Of course then she asked me whether or not I had seen a ghost (yes) and whether or not Baptists or Catholics believe in ghosts (don't know). That conversation lasted almost as long as the initial conversation and the end result was that she wanted to see a ghost as she'd never seen one before. So now I sit here waiting for our next odd conversation.
If there is nothing I *must* blog about, I will have to blog about my religious beliefs another time.
Several days ago I mentioned about the girl-child's issue with markers, crayons and paints. Well, at 9 years old, she still feels she can do whatever she wants and consequences be damned. That thought lasts as long as it takes for her to be discovered and punished. She will unhappily relate that she never gets away with anything, for some reason she always gets discovered. I have no idea why she continues to do things she knows she's not supposed to.
Anyway, this morning her school was delayed due to the weather and road conditions. I had gone upstairs to let her know this and to my dismay discovered that she had been carving into her headboard. The bed frame/headboard etc in question is over 10 years old and is (was) very nice mahogany wood (along with the other furniture in her room). When polished, you can almost see your reflection in the wood.
Being the inquisitive sort, I cannot help but ask why she carved her name into the headboard. Her standard response to any question is "I don't know" and after 3 years of hearing this, it just makes one frustrated and upset. There are moments I feel like a policeman in an interrogation room as I have to keep repeating the question over and over. The final response was "I was grounded and wanted to take it out on something". Needless to say I had a few choice words for her and pointed out that while she may be sleeping on the bed and using all of the other furniture, they are by no means hers.
I guess I should look on the bright side. Last year this time she was banging her head repeatedly on the brick wall, so this is definately an improvement. Thankfully where we were at had child therapists and counsellors as she ended up going there. I don't think we'll be as lucky here.
As I sit here quite annoyed with the girl child I am hearing noise. Now to give you a little bit of a background, I live in a townhouse (4-plex) that has 4 storeys. Unit 1 and Unit 2 are mirror imaged and Unit 3 (which I live in, is identical to Unit 1) and Unit 4 are mirror imaged. What that means is that the darn stairs are against the same walls. Anyway, before I digress any further, my neighbours in Unit 4 sound like a herd of elephants as you can hear someone/s tromping up and down the stairs. This has been going on for the last couple of days and I can't figure out what they are doing and why they have to go up and down the stairs as much as they do.
I mentioned at the end of my last post (I believe) about certain conversations that the girl-child and I were having. Thankfully she's already had the "sex" talk and we haven't quite progressed to the "what happens when you start hitting puberty". More background information... I was christened Roman Catholic (never been confirmed as there wasn't a Catholic Church where I grew up) however attended Baptist church as a child and the girl-child has been raised Pentacostal (I believe) thus far. While I feel that children should be exposed to religion (as many as the parents feel comfortable with) I also feel that there comes a time when they can choose whether or not they want to continue attending church. There were a couple of incidents that made me disillusioned with the church and organized religion in general which is why I don't attend. The girl-child the other night was asking me the differences between the Catholic faith and the baptists. That conversation went on for the better part of an hour, which was pretty good. Of course then she asked me whether or not I had seen a ghost (yes) and whether or not Baptists or Catholics believe in ghosts (don't know). That conversation lasted almost as long as the initial conversation and the end result was that she wanted to see a ghost as she'd never seen one before. So now I sit here waiting for our next odd conversation.
If there is nothing I *must* blog about, I will have to blog about my religious beliefs another time.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Exhausted
The local time is 8:30pm and I'm at the point just past exhaustion. I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to get to bed before midnight and then I'm up early in the morning. After several days of that, I just can't function. That is the one thing I dislike about getting older (or aging like a fine wine as my friend Ashley says), I still have fond memories of going to bed at 2 or 3am, getting up at 7 and going to work. That cycle could repeat for several days and I would be fine. Not anymore, after doing that once the following day is more or less shot.
Last night we drove to Grafenwohr which is about an hour north north east of us to see the new Harry Potter movie. Right before we got there, the low fuel indicator light was illuminated and due to the time, we figured we'd get gas after the movie. The gas station on Graf closes at 8pm and it does not have pay at pump. We asked one of the guards where we could find a 24 hour gas station and he suggested either Pressath (approx 10km north-east or Weiden (approx 28km east). Since Pressath was closer, we headed that way, only to have to turn around as we couldn't find any gas stations, 24 hour or otherwise. There we were overly conscious about the gas, or lack thereof, and not only was it dark out, but not only weren't there anything to see, there weren't any other cars on the road. By this time we figured that we would head to Amberg (which is on our way home) and possibly head to Weiden once we saw the exit. When we finally saw the exit for Weiden, not only was it out of our way and quite far at that, but we figured we stood a better chance of getting gas at Amberg instead of Weiden (we're not holding much weigh with what the guard said). Needless to say, we made it to Amberg and was able to get gas there. After considering how many detours there were, we could have made it home on no gas just fine.
Moral of the story: Check your gas gauge before you head out and if you're iffy about the gas, take a map which shows where the 24 hour gas stations are.
Didn't make it to bed until around 2am and since hubby had to head out early (back to Graf for a week) I didn't get a lot of sleep.
Spent way too much time online, looking back I'm not sure exactly what all I did. Was able to rip some more MP3s from my CDs for my new toy and managed to get two more boxes emptied and more laundry done.
I think I'm going to curl up with a book and hopefully drift off into the next dimension.
Will have to write about my discussion with the girl-child re: religion and ghosts.
Last night we drove to Grafenwohr which is about an hour north north east of us to see the new Harry Potter movie. Right before we got there, the low fuel indicator light was illuminated and due to the time, we figured we'd get gas after the movie. The gas station on Graf closes at 8pm and it does not have pay at pump. We asked one of the guards where we could find a 24 hour gas station and he suggested either Pressath (approx 10km north-east or Weiden (approx 28km east). Since Pressath was closer, we headed that way, only to have to turn around as we couldn't find any gas stations, 24 hour or otherwise. There we were overly conscious about the gas, or lack thereof, and not only was it dark out, but not only weren't there anything to see, there weren't any other cars on the road. By this time we figured that we would head to Amberg (which is on our way home) and possibly head to Weiden once we saw the exit. When we finally saw the exit for Weiden, not only was it out of our way and quite far at that, but we figured we stood a better chance of getting gas at Amberg instead of Weiden (we're not holding much weigh with what the guard said). Needless to say, we made it to Amberg and was able to get gas there. After considering how many detours there were, we could have made it home on no gas just fine.
Moral of the story: Check your gas gauge before you head out and if you're iffy about the gas, take a map which shows where the 24 hour gas stations are.
Didn't make it to bed until around 2am and since hubby had to head out early (back to Graf for a week) I didn't get a lot of sleep.
Spent way too much time online, looking back I'm not sure exactly what all I did. Was able to rip some more MP3s from my CDs for my new toy and managed to get two more boxes emptied and more laundry done.
I think I'm going to curl up with a book and hopefully drift off into the next dimension.
Will have to write about my discussion with the girl-child re: religion and ghosts.
Friday, December 02, 2005
Going home...
I never contemplated that going home could be such an issue. To give you a reference point, I was born on the island of Jamaica however I do not travel under a Jamaican passport. I won't go into details of what passport I do hold, but given the current visa situation there, it appears that I'll need a visa to visit the land of my birth. While I do not travel there a lot (time and funds are the issue/s more so than the desire), I never expected it to be that difficult.
On a sadly amusing note, I'm glad that no one (or at least no one that comments) reads this particular blog. Why? you may say. Well, last night I spent approximately 2 hours trying to tweak the "look" of this blog. I had all but successfully done so (according to the preview) and was quite happy with my effort. The warm fuzzies didn't last long as when I saved it, the look wasn't anywhere close to what I was wanting. I will try this again, but not today.
Didn't get a lot done yesterday around the house as I would have liked. Ended up spending a pretty penny on a few gadgets so I will start load #3 of laundry for the day, grab a shower and then come back and play with my new toy.
Will try and be back later.
On a sadly amusing note, I'm glad that no one (or at least no one that comments) reads this particular blog. Why? you may say. Well, last night I spent approximately 2 hours trying to tweak the "look" of this blog. I had all but successfully done so (according to the preview) and was quite happy with my effort. The warm fuzzies didn't last long as when I saved it, the look wasn't anywhere close to what I was wanting. I will try this again, but not today.
Didn't get a lot done yesterday around the house as I would have liked. Ended up spending a pretty penny on a few gadgets so I will start load #3 of laundry for the day, grab a shower and then come back and play with my new toy.
Will try and be back later.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Marker marker everywhere
There are times when I have to wonder why the girl-child thinks we're completely oblivious.
Down the stairs she walks and the first thing I notice isn't the blue ink that's on her clothes, or all over her hands or even on her face but on her tongue. Why the question "Why is your tongue blue?" elicits a response of "I don't know" followed by a confused look and a tremble is beyond me.
While she was in her room and supposed to be putting away clothes and straightening up her room, instead she had found a set of markers, crayons and paint pots and decided to play.
This has been a problem for us since she was 5... she is now 9. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with her having markers, crayons or paints in theory. The reality of the situation is that she paints/draws/marks on any surface available. Walls, tables, towels, carpet and anything else. Lately she's had her markers etc removed from her room and told that she can play with those as long as she is supervised.
I guess that wasn't good enough for her as she got markers everywhere today. Instead of just removing them from her room and saying nothing else, not only did I remove the offending items from her room but they were thrown out. She's been put on notice that she has been grounded (for getting it in the carpet, especially after being told that we have to pay if she destroys the carpet or anything else) until further notice and that until she is able to use said items properly, any such items that she receives (even if for Christmas) will be donated on her behalf.
Somedays I wish there were some other way to resolve this issue, but I can't think of it.
Down the stairs she walks and the first thing I notice isn't the blue ink that's on her clothes, or all over her hands or even on her face but on her tongue. Why the question "Why is your tongue blue?" elicits a response of "I don't know" followed by a confused look and a tremble is beyond me.
While she was in her room and supposed to be putting away clothes and straightening up her room, instead she had found a set of markers, crayons and paint pots and decided to play.
This has been a problem for us since she was 5... she is now 9. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with her having markers, crayons or paints in theory. The reality of the situation is that she paints/draws/marks on any surface available. Walls, tables, towels, carpet and anything else. Lately she's had her markers etc removed from her room and told that she can play with those as long as she is supervised.
I guess that wasn't good enough for her as she got markers everywhere today. Instead of just removing them from her room and saying nothing else, not only did I remove the offending items from her room but they were thrown out. She's been put on notice that she has been grounded (for getting it in the carpet, especially after being told that we have to pay if she destroys the carpet or anything else) until further notice and that until she is able to use said items properly, any such items that she receives (even if for Christmas) will be donated on her behalf.
Somedays I wish there were some other way to resolve this issue, but I can't think of it.
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